Persepsi Bebas # 3

B: yes..
B: i want you to revise that..
B: deep inside my heart....i know i like it..
A: what good does it do?
B: tapi kalo elu ngga bisa me-revise ya tak apa juga
A: ya kalau tak apa jua gak usah kita revisi
B: kayak yang kamu bilang..
B: yang terbaik menurut hati gue atau otak gue?
B: which one?
A: u decide for urself. nobody else can
A: u haven't answered my question abt what good does it does. the revision
A: apa ada kebaikannya jika direvisi
A: apa bagusnya
B: oooooo
B: my heart said it's good to be revised..
B: my brain said...it's good too...if we're ready to face those pains again...in the future...
A: are u ready to face the pain? that's the key
B: i know...
B: just like what you said..
B: actually i love those pains rite?
B: you said so?
A: yes true. i said so. so u r ready then?
B: i do
A: me too
B: so?
A: if u really ready to face the pains, i will revise it
B: i said i do..
B: so revise it then..
A: i will
A: welcome to the mad house....
B: thanks..
B: another mad house i found..
B: been there done that..
B: walaupun levelnya ngga sama..
B: and sekarang jauh lebih berat..
B: and lebih seruu..
A: hopefully lebih enjoyable too
B: pasti..

A: now i can tell u. i wrote that note for u. that's what i really feel deep inside
B: i know it dear..
B: i know that was for me..
B: i know that you lied to me..
B: said that note was not for me..
B: do u think that i'm stupid..
B: can not read between the lines..
B: come on..
A: of course i know that u will know dear
A: it's very clear. been years n years i never write anything. a poem especially.
B: trust me i knew it from the first time i saw that note
B: thats for me
B: gue tau kok ada seseorang yang nawarin air putih ke gue...tulus...dan gue sebaiknya berenti berjalan di savana itu lagi...
A: yes i know for sure. i simply wrote what i felt inside. it is confusing i guess but that's it. that's what i feel. longing for your voice, your touch, the pain you will bring to me, etc etc.
A: walk with me in the savana sweetie...
B: will do
A: honestly kau pasti ketawa baca notes itu kan?
A: kacau banget
B: kenapa mesti kecewa?
A: ketawa
B: nope..
B: kacau bagian mananya?
A: everything in it.
A: even the language i used
B: sedikit berbelit2 bahasanya
B: tapi gue tau maksudnya apa kok
A: that's the language of a real introvert....
A: can't express what's inside
B: so true
B: very true
B: semuanya implisit
A: thank God smbody msh bisa digest
B: ya..
B: and somebody itu gue..
A: yes
B: so?
A: take it as the first stupid poetry u ever receive
B: okay..
B: tapi tetep gue ngga liat itu stupid siy
A: that's what i felt when coming back from taking you home semalem.
A: i closed my eyes n tried to sleep but what i got is ur remnants around my house
A: sisa2 bayanganmu
B: aaaa so sweet..
B: heheehhehe
A: makanya. stupid kan?
B: apanya yang stupid siy?
B: ngga ada gitu?
B: masih takjub loo gue..
B: dari sekian banyaknya orang yang dateng ke elooo..
B: nawarin air putih itu..
B: elo pilih gue...
B: yang ngga bawa apa2...malah
A: justru krn lu ga bawa apa2 kali gue jadi suka
B: bawa sesuatu siy..
B: my crying face actually
B: hehhehehe
B: if she asks you..
B: what are you going to say?
A: i will say you miss my comfi couch
B: monyet
A: ha ha ha
B: serius niy gue
A: she misses that couch coz smbody from the wonderland sit on it n comfort her
B: that's all about me..
B: how about you?
A: and that somebody from the wonderland find a peaceful blue lake in her eyes
A: with thousans of streams flowing out from it where he can wash his weary feet

B: btw...
B: bayanganku masih di rumahmu?
A: still
B: bayangannya ngga bisa ditangkep?
A: i don't wanna catch your shadow
B: kenapa ngga mau nangkep?
A: kesian ntar terpenjara.

B: ma kasi ya dah bikinin gue puisi..
B: sori banget tadi ngga bisa ketemu..
A: ada yang bilang besok n lusa sih
A: itupun kalau tdk berubah pikiran
A: jam 5 an ok sih
B: terus mau kemana ya?
A: jam brp ktm disana?
B: be there around 5

A: another sugesstion: when u wanna go with anybody n leave me. please tell me honestly.
B: yupe
B: itu juga...
B: will dooo....
B: promise you..
B: elu perlu tau gue kmana dimana sama sapa?
B: tiap saat tak?
A: thanks. no need. tell me when u start thinking of somebody else and considering a more serious relationship
B: cuma perlu itu..?
A: dont lie to me coz usually i always find out
B: gue masih boleh pergi ama sapa pun?
B: no need to tell u?
A: i need to tell u this coz trust me i dont want to hate u because of lies. u can go for friendship sure. i leave it to u whether or not to let me know. i want u to grow up and become a mature girl.
B: okay
B: good
A: u know what? i know someday u will leave me.
B: i know that also
B: i have that kind of quality...
B: dari dulu...
A: when that happens i hope u have made progress. personality wise.
B: will do..
B: it's the time though
A: anything u want me to do?
B: satu lagi..
B: your angels?
B: gue ga mau di BTin ama mereka
A: considering all your situations you told me, let them know that we are friends, good friends. kecuali we have future. otherwise malah jadi BT semua.
B: sip
B: agreed
B: jangan memperburuk keadaan..
A: and i told u abt my ex yg kadang msh minta tolong aku soal kerjaan kan?
B: no need to worry
A: tadi dia sms mau minta tolong dibantu krn tgl 12 dia presentasi besar.
B: ngga masalah sama sekali...
B: go ahead
B: you r her mentor anyway..
A: thanks. i dont want you to think of smthg not right.
B: ga juga kaliii..
A: yes i am her mentor
B: santai..
B: i know your quality..
B: kalo pun kalian mau aneh2...gue ngga bakal tau...
B: gue cuma percaya omongan mu ajah..
B: i know your quality...
A: thanks sweetie.
A: but i feel strange honestly. never have this kind of relationship in my life
B: apa pun pasti ada pertama kalinya khan?
B: ya gak?
B: but tell me, you dont like it?
B: dan elu kecewa?
A: honestly... sedih
B: aduuuhhh..
B: u dont want it?
B: kalo ngga juga ngga papa ..
A: lets give it a try
A: i will tell u what i feel after sometime
B: yeah i know..
B: that's part of pains yang udah kita sanggup hadapin ga siy?
B: ya

B: do you see that we have future?
A: i see it but you don't
B: huh?
B: really?
B: how come?
A: yes but u will never believe
B: tell me
A: i don't know honestly how
B: tell me
B: what did you see
A: if i know i will tell you for sure
B: that we are going to be together?
B: in marriage or something like that
B: ?
A: yes
B: so i hurt you now
A: very much. i feel like crying now
B: what should i do
A: but it's my ego hurts
A: nothing
B: lebih baik gue ngomong dari awal ngga siy?
A: yes. i appreciate it dari awal.
A: it's all coz segila apapun aku i know didalam aku halus sekali
A: dan yang paling membuatku sedih...
A: adalah kayaknya masih jauh kau akan menjadi matang... sedih banget. banget. banget...
B: gue ngga tau harus jawab apa
A: i have a meeting tomorrow at 8. can it be excused now sweetie?
B: mau off dulu?
A: yes unless u have smthg to say.
B: no...
B: bobokh gih...
A: tell me one thing before i sleep. you don't love me, right?
B: gengsi gue lagi menutupi..
B: but somehow...saat gue lagi bengong or malah lagi ngga mau pikir apa2..
B: that feeling comes up
B: so i'll answer...not yet...but i will
B: *mendingan gue ngga boong khan?*
A: thanks a lot. i appreciate your frankness.
B: again it hurts you rite?
A: it does. but i am not a kid anylonger. pain has been my close friend since long ago
B: okay...
B: sleep tite tonite...
B: lets walk to that mad house together..
B: don't we?
A: let's explore the wild, weird n mean world. walk with me. dream with me. n search for a glass of water together.
B: will do darl...
B: nite2..
A: i love u if only u know
B: i know it..
B: i know that you lied to me also ..
B: by saying it's only an affection...
A: my affection to u is as big as my love. i am not lying. if i have to choose i prefer to give u the affection
B: :)
B: ya udah..gih tidur...meeting jam 8 khan? ntar telat lagi...
A: ok. my BB YM is online in case u can't sleep n want to drop me some notes. sleep tight babe...
B: you too darling
A: lots of kisses....

A: God I feel like hell tonight.....